First Movie: Captain America. Originally released in 1944 by Republic Picture Serial; Marvel was then known as Timely Comics.

Ok, the backstory for this is we open with Steve Rogers. He isn’t the biggest of guys. Pretty much pushed around in college, until he finds a flyer on the board in the café. The ROTC are looking for young men to take part in a special training program with the Army. As the training goes on, the guys running the program see that Steve shows amazing latent skill. So they decide to give him a formula that they have been working on. *This is where I would set up a chance for a spin off movie* Steve is taken to a special training camp to start his next level of training. As Rogers is settling into the new area, he notices the black man in the room across from his. The black man looks at Rogers and says “So, I do the leg work to get this thing perfect, and they get you to reap the benefits. What a country.” Before Steve can say anything the man is carted off by security never to be seen again. *For those of you who are into Capt. America, you know that a while back they did a mini series where it is reveled the that Super Soldier Serum was tested on Black men before given to Rogers. The only surviving test subject is Isaiah Bradley. A great spin off would be following the story of Bradley, which would feature when he Substituted for Captain America for one mission.* Before Steve can ask any questions about the man, he is thrusted head deep into the training and given steady doses of what is now called “The Super Solider Serum”. Rogers starts to show amazing results making him stronger and faster. His reflexes and flexibility becomes amazing.

Soon Rogers no longer needs the serum to show the results of this new training and serum. After see this the government offers Rogers a place in a special army unit, where he can use his new found abilities to help his country. Of course being the patriot he is Steve says yes. During this time we will show clips of a lot of gritty battles and missions. On specific one shows the reason why Steve Rogers no longer uses a gun. The government contracts a weapons company named Stark Industries to design a weapon that Steve can use. With Steve’s input a shield and costume is craft. But designed to inspire troops in the midst of battle. Hence forth the creation of Captain America. We see various other missions with Steve as the Captain. One of the last missions shown is one where Steve liberates a concentration camp with the help of Canada’s top agent, Logan, who takes the mission in hopes of gaining info on the Weapon X program.

During this time, we find out that the Germans stole a copied version of the formula that they gave Steve. Too bad that it was a faulty version. It has bad effects on the soldier that they tried it on. The skin on his face slowly starts to decay off. Resulting in The Red Skull. The movie would end in this big battle, where Capt. America saves the life of the trainee that they give to assist him, Bucky. He says him by pushing him out of the way of a big explosion that destroys an experimental Cyro Chamber in a secret Germen medical center in the arctic. But that isn’t the exact ending.

As you see Bucky and the other remaining troops in Captain America’s unit helicopter away the view goes digital. As the camera pulls back and you realize that you are inside a aircraft. In the aircraft you see Iron Man infront of a digital screen that shows the explosion. You can’t make out the figures that are standing behind Iron Man, but as the movie fades to an end you can see a block of ice with a shadowy figure trapped inside.

Casting:

Steve Rogers – Matthew McConaughey *He has the size and build needed to pull it off. Give him some Army training and bingo*

Bucky – Matt Damon *He has already proven he can make a convincing fighter. This role would be perfect for him.*

Isiah Bradley – Michael Jai White *The Bradley that Steve meets will be older and already a combat vet.*

Logan – Hugh Jackmen *I need not explain*

A Young Nick Fury – Derek Luke *I think he can pull off the young soldier that later becomes head of Shield*

Iron Man *Voiced*- Robert Downey, Jr. *I need not explain*

Planned Sequels:

Captain America 2: Avengers Assemble

This sequel will follow this storyline. A secret German group of scientist are commission to re-animate the body of their fallen champion, The Red Skull. In hopes of countering that, SHIELD calls upon a group of heroes to find and re-animate the body of the only man that is able to defeat him.

Actually, let’s start out by me admitting to really enjoying the first two Mummy movies. I tend to like Brendan Fraser (this is goodwill going back to Encino Man), so I was predisposed to liking these movies. I thought the Rick O’Connell character had a lot of possibilities and even hoped for a series of movies in the Indiana Jones vein. What I got was more Mummy movies, while not bad, were not quite living up to the lofty expectations I had on the series. So, I enjoyed the first one quite a bit and I thought the second one was pretty good, too. My only real issue with the second installment was the kid.

It’s no secret that when a kid is introduced in a series, be it film or television, it doesn’t bode well. The Mummy Returns was no exception. I didn’t want to see the adventures of Rick O’Connell and Son, so I was pleased when I found that the son was all grown up in the third installment. My wife was a bit distracted by the fact that the kid had aged 10-15 years but his father hadn’t. That didn’t bother me, all I cared about was not having a little kid running around getting in the way.

The plot basically involves the retired Ma & Pa O’Connell longing for the life of adventure that they’ve given up. The British government wants them to return a precious artifact to China and they agree since Jonathon (Evie’s brother from the first two films) owns a nightclub there. Forunately, their son has dropped out of school and is busy digging up lost emperors in China, too. In a minor quibble, I’m not sure the Emperor qualifies as a mummy, but I’m far from an expert on the subject. So, the O’Connells all get together, the Emperor comes back to life and just like old times, they’ve got to stop him. And that’s pretty much it in a nutshell.

The effects were pretty good and the locations were suitably exotic. The acting was what you’d expect from a ripoff of the old serial movies: things were over the top, but not too cartoony. Now, this isn’t going to go down as a cinematic masterpiece, but I didn’t feel ripped off for paying to see it and that’s really about all I ask from a summer popcorn flick. I just want to sit there for 90-120 minutes and be mindlessly entertained and this film didn’t let me down in that department.

Ultimately your opinion of this movie is going to be flavored by your opinion of the first two. If you didn’t like them, I doubt this film will change your mind. But if you did enjoy them, then you’ll be alright with this one. True, it stumbles a bit (they could have gotten by without having Evie in the film at all, really), but if you don’t try and take it too seriously, you should have a good time.

With all that having been said, I was obviously looking forward to the new X Files movie. The basic story (some minor spoliers ahead) is that Scully is now a doctor working at a religious hospital. Her patient is a young boy that has some sort of brain disease that can’t be cured, except maybe it can be if she injects him with stem cells. The FBI comes to her to find the missing Fox Mulder to help them with a case. Since this is an X Files movie, Mulder eventually agrees to help and he and Scully are taken to FBI headquarters.

It turns out that an FBI agent in West Virginia is missing and a psychic pedophile priest (alliteration for the win!) has been having vision concerning her whereabouts. These visions lead them to an arm that doesn’t belong to the missing agent. Scully doesn’t like the priest because he’s a pedophile but Mulder, well, he wants to believe. The FBI continues to work with the priest at Mulder’s request, but they get nowhere fast. Meanwhile, more women are being kidnapped. This just leads to more searches in snow covered fields that lead to more severed body parts.

While all this is going on, Scully is faced with the problem of how to cure her patient of an incurable disease. She does a ton of research on stem cell treatments and just as all if about lost, she notices an article about a Russian scientist that was working on attaching severed dog heads to other dogs, creating some kind of two headed wonder dog. The surgery pictures of the dogs match up with the wounds on the recovered body parts and she realizes what’s going on. It turns out the whole thing has been done so that this Russian scientist can save the live of another Russian guy that’s got terminal cancer by putting his head on a woman’s body. That’s logical, right? But the bodies wear out pretty fast, so they have to have a steady supply of women to change out the bodies. As you can imagine, the FBI put a stop to it at a critical moment and that’s the end of the movie.

Ok, so that might have been an acceptable two-parter of the television series, but it is not a compelling movie. Even at matinee prices I felt like I overpaid. There are a few problems here. First, the movie has an identity crisis. This movie is set in the bleakness of winter, which does a good job setting the tone, but its tough to relate in the middle of summer. The writer also went to great pains to reset the Mulder/Scully relationship. If you remember the early seasons of the show, Scully was a skeptic that was there to balance out Mulder. But over time, she saw lots of fucked up stuff and had to start believing, even if reluctantly. But for this movie to work, she had to be a skeptic again so they made the priest a pedophile so now she hates him and won’t believe a word he says.

You’ve also got the problem that people like the X Files for two things: conspiracies and monsters. Since this movie had neither, that’s a problem. Yes, there was some “weird science”, but it was almost an afterthought. The experiment was the cause for the missing women, but it wasn’t treated as that big a deal. Because of that, I’ve got to deduct major points for the lack of anything really creepy.

The redemption for this movie was in the question of ethics and morality in the comparison between Scully’s stem cell treatment and the Russian doctor’s experiements. Both are playing Frankenstein and both are doing it to save lives, but one is relatively acceptable (as long as you’re not a right wing nutjob) while the other is grotesque. But does that make one right and the other wrong? Well, if you take the kidnapped women out of the equation, I mean.

Overall, this was a disappointing flick. Like I said, I could have put up with it as a throwaway episode of the series, because I know that writing 22 episodes a season, a few aren’t going to be so great. But when you’re writing a movie and have the time to focus on just that one script, well, you’d better have your shit together. This movie did not have its shit together. So, if you’re home and it comes on tv, give it a shot, but certainly don’t pay to watch it.

The story is better in Ultimate Avengers, but I never disputed that. I happen to like Mark Millar’s comics, so it should come as little surprise that I liked the story in a movie based off his comic. The story in Superman/Doomsday was not so good, especially considering that one of the characters named in the title wasn’t even in the last half of the movie.

Since the statute of limitations on spoilers has run out on Superman/Doomsday, let me explain the plot. Doomsday comes to Earth and starts tearing shit up. Superman goes to stop him and seemingly dies in the process. Now, that’s the end of Doomsday’s involvement in the movie. From there it is revealed that Lex Luthor was building Superman clones that he could control. To make matters worse, the clones were reckless and tore some shit up. Meanwhile, back in the Fortress of Solitude, Superman’s robot butler has dug up Superman’s body and is getting him healed up. Superman wakes up and sees the mess the fake Supes has been making, but is too weak to stop him. So, the real Superman wears a black version of his outfit that supercharges solar rays or some bullshit so he can go fight. The real Superman wins and returns to Metropolis and all is right with the world.

I think that if this were viewed as part of the Superman animated series the story wouldn’t be as disappointing. But based on the name alone, you’re expecting a retelling of the Death of Superman storyline and that’s totally not what you get. At least in Ultimate Avengers you more or less get the original Ultimates story.

Where Ulimate Avengers really falls short is the voice acting and animation. The voice acting in DC animated shows has always been good, and I think that Superman/Doomsday lives up to those expectations. The same goes for the animation. The DC cartoons have always had a cool, stylized approach that is continued in Superman/Doomsday. In Ultimate Avengers, the animation is on par with your typical Saturday morning cartoon from the 1980’s. In fact, on my Ultimate Avengers 2 DVD, before the movie starts there is an ad for the old TMNT show and the animation quality is pretty similar. As for the voices in Ultimate Avenger? I’ll just say that the acting is not good and leave it at that.

And there you have it, my reasoning behind saying that Superman/Doomsday was the superior movie. It clearly wins on two of three metrics and is only penalized on story due to expectations based on the name.

Anyway, this week we get our (obviously) first group of guests. We’ve got the very opinionated Nina, Mike the Mick, my perennial co-host Kyle, and Justin who I don’t have a nickname or witty comment for. We start off talking about the Dark Knight and vear into general superhero movie talk and then discuss what upcoming movies we’re looking forward to. If my memory serves, the show is much more entertaining than this recap would suggest, but then I was drinking when we recorded.

Show Notes:

• Nina’s Batman villian picks
• Red Sonja poster
• Rocky Horror on MTV
• Captain America fantasy casting
• Really depressing Wolverine movie casting
• Coraline – based on a novel by Neil Gaiman

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